Mom Always Knew What Was in the Box of Chocolates

So what’s in the box?

My mother liked to push her thumb into pieces of chocolate to glimpse the filling without taking a bite. I hated it because when I opened the box, I saw a bunch of squashed soft chocolates lying around like road kill crushed by a passing truck.

She did not like the soft ones. Nor did I, but to look in the box of dead chocolates was unappealing.

“How can I tell if I like them or not?”

“How about taking a bite and if you don’t like it, throw it away. Why do you leave  it?’

“Because someone may want it.”

Yum

“Who?”

“Someone.”

“It’s awful, Mom.”

“Oh, get off.” (Her oft heard phrase to dismiss us)

Even though Mom has been gone for years, every time I open a box of choolates, I have a moment of pause. What’s inside that tiny cube of chocolate? This one here? What if I picked one of those mushy soft green things?

I wanted anything chewy, like the caramel. Or the fudge. How would I know? I looked it up and I found that chocolatiers have some advice.

If a guide comes with the box of chocolates, trust it.

If not, you can use this:

Soft centers = soft shapes. If the chocolate has a rounded top or rounded edges, you can assume the filling will be soft and creamy. Buttercreams are almost always domed. So are cherry cordials.

Bolder flavors = bolder angular shapes

Soft caramels are almost always square. Fudges are also square, but usually a little bigger than caramels. Chewy caramels are rectangular.

Those with foils mean solid chocolate. And clues are in the colors.  A lemon-flavored chocolate might get a swath of yellow.  A passionfruit might get a stripe of pink. And a white dot or two could signal coconut.

OK, I’ll give it a try. But I don’t trust it.

Mom never did.

© 2017

By | 2017-12-04T12:54:39+00:00 December 4th, 2017|Humor|19 Comments

19 Comments

  1. Lynn Walker December 4, 2017 at 2:27 pm - Reply

    So funny … I remember my cousins and I “choosing for each other” when we felt adventurous.; and the rule of that game was you HAD to eat the one you were given, hahaha.

    • Ed December 4, 2017 at 3:43 pm - Reply

      That is the rule indeed, but my mother never followed rules.

  2. Vicky Gartner December 4, 2017 at 2:30 pm - Reply

    Wow………..that did create a memory for me. Have not been eating from boxed chocolate lately, but my parents usually had some around the house. I would take a bite and then throw it out if it was not my imagined choice. Thanks for the tutorial though about how to know what is what inside that box!! Have a great day.

    • Ed December 4, 2017 at 3:42 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Vicky. Pleased that I conjured up some memories. Now … no squeez-a the chocolate.

  3. Vin DiBiasio December 4, 2017 at 5:29 pm - Reply

    I always followed the guide. Almost always I was not disappointed.

    • Ed December 4, 2017 at 5:54 pm - Reply

      Not sure my mother knew where the box cover was, once she tossed it aside in haste.

  4. peter voccio jr December 4, 2017 at 6:21 pm - Reply

    DR ED ,

    You have me laughing out loud “Oh get off it” and “because someone may
    want it” A trip and them some you got to “love her’
    Over many years I have become a decent judge of the good ones and when
    they come in two layers I would eat all the good ones on the top slip to the
    bottom and repeat. When I finished all the chocolates would be on one layer.
    SOFT ONES OF COURSE.

    • Ed December 4, 2017 at 8:39 pm - Reply

      Go for the Baci Choice and the Torrone

  5. Beverly Thompson December 4, 2017 at 7:51 pm - Reply

    Wonderful memories of your Mom and the box of chocolates. I also hated the choosing and was always happy to find the cover with directions. Today I am happy with the H. kisses or mini bars of dark chocolate. Thanks for another good story.

    • Ed December 4, 2017 at 8:38 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Beverly. I like Baci Chocolates. They come with a love note. And … no guessing. All the same.
      Thanks for your nice comment.

  6. Natalie McKenna December 5, 2017 at 2:28 am - Reply

    So many memories, thank you!

    • Ed December 5, 2017 at 12:03 pm - Reply

      Merry Christmas, Natalie. Always good to hear from you ☺️

  7. peter voccio jr December 5, 2017 at 7:39 pm - Reply

    DR.ED ,

    You did it!
    Planted the thought of chocolate in my mind it was 4.25 ounce and had a
    serving size of 5 blocks in which I consumed 4 and Ann had the other.
    I recommend the Hershey with almonds and also set in the fridge for 10 minutes
    if you can wait that long. hmmm might do a frozen Milky way tomorrow.

    • Ed December 6, 2017 at 2:01 am - Reply

      Devils love chocolate. Especially Hersheys with almonds 🤣

    • Ed December 6, 2017 at 1:50 pm - Reply

      How about a frozen Charleston Chew today?

  8. peter voccio jr December 6, 2017 at 7:37 pm - Reply

    DR.ED ,

    OMG: The Charleston Chew-the fun in cracking them and the lasting chew
    with yummy juices and chocolate flavor. hmmmmmm you Devil.
    Will pick one up tomorrow on the way to the barber.

    • Ed December 6, 2017 at 9:56 pm - Reply

      Good, but be careful you don’t have to stop at the dentist.😁

  9. Mary Ann Coletti December 13, 2017 at 7:26 pm - Reply

    My mom never squished chocolates. I think we always had Candy Cupboard and that came with a schematic, on the cover, of what was in the chocolates. If mom was here she would tell you the stories of what I would do to the box of pastry. Mom loved her sweets and if she did not bake off she would go to the bakery for a box of goodies. That pastry was the proverbial chocolate to me. What to have? Was it the center cut lemon square, fig square or maybe if I was bold enough I would eye the Chinese chew, (that was a spiced oblong cake Ina cupcake wrapper with raisens and chocolate squiggly frosting) . So, I solved my dilemma, I would cut a small corner off every piece in the box. Cutting into the Chinese chew was very bold for I had to peel some of the cake wrapper off, very noticeable, although I remember pushing the wrapp r into the remainder of cake hoping no one would notice a smalle piece. I think my worse transgression was cutting the blueberry filling out of the figure 8 Danish. How did I think it his would not be noticed? Mom was very good about this, especially if company came and she had to put this on a dish. She would say “Oh my, I think I have a mouse in the house”

    • Ed December 13, 2017 at 8:58 pm - Reply

      LOVE the memories< Mary Ann. Ben scritto. So ,we share much as my favorites in no particular order were: lemon squares, fig squares, eclairs and chop suey ( I think your Chinese chew). You were more than a mouse. You were a devil. Cuting the filling out of the danish? Gad! My mother would say, Ne - VAH! For lunch at school ... Devil Dogs, of course and Twinkies. Buon Appetito, Little Mouse!

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