A Banana Split for Supper

This was published in yesterday’s ProJo.

Some years ago, I said to my wife, Diane, that one evening for supper I wanted to have something I hadn’t had in years — a good old-fashioned banana split. That desire arrived not many days later on a perfect hot summer day. I called from the office, and off we went to the Newport Creamery. I wanted to “recommit to the split.” The familiar green and white sign of “The Creamery” beckoned. The waitresses were wearing matching green and white striped uniforms.

A counter seat it had to be. I slid onto the red stool, and with an urge to go three-sixty, whirled back and forth like the old days while I eagerly awaited the waitress. “Need a menu?”

“No, thank you. I know what I want. A banana split. Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream … pineapple, strawberry and chocolate toppings … whipped cream, walnuts and a maraschino cherry(a srory for another blog);the full boat, please.”

Wearing a suit and tie, having come directly from the office, I was not exactly dressed for a banana split, though I wasn’t quite sure what proper banana split attire would be. Might it be the same as it was for the Awful Awful, drink two, get one free … white T-shirt, khaki pants, Keds sneakers and a brown belt?

“Here it comes.” I sat up straight, bent my head and looked at it. The boat dish seemed smaller, but everything was there, I thought. Diane looked at the boat and then at me. With a puzzled look, she asked, “Where are your bananas?” I looked deeper. There were no bananas! I tapped the spoon on the end of the dish, raised my hand and summoned the young lady with a wide, hurried, brisk wave. Bubbly, she bounced to us with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.

“Yes, how can I help?”

“Right. Yeah. Uhhh, I haven’t had a banana split in a long time, but I am sure there should be bananas in it. They still do that, right?” I looked away, trying to shield a glare. Diane gently grabbed my arm, suggesting that being older than 6 years of age, I not make a scene. I squirmed, ready to stand and shout, “Where are my bananas!”

“Oh, my goodness’” the waitress said, smiling. “That’s the second time this week I forgot to put them in. Just a moment. I’ll get you some bananas.” She returned with a small dish of small, vertically sliced bananas. My anger slipped to disappointment. Feeling sorry for myself, I calmed down and with hunched shoulders, proceeded to cut the bananas with my spoon and mix them into the ice creams — but it wasn’t the same. It could not be done. And, I spilled chocolate on my tie.

Disappointed, I strolled to the door where I met an old friend sitting at the counter. “Like bananas, do you, Ed? I see you asked for more.”

“Oh yeah. Bananas. Love ’em”

By | 2018-07-01T18:22:59+00:00 July 2nd, 2018|Humor|25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Barbara Beauchemin July 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm - Reply

    LOL….good story Ed….sometimes a blast from the past is better left there! However, if you and Diane are still feeling adventurous in the gastronomic vein I would love to read about a visit to the NY system weiners on Smith street in Providence. As kids we had to pass there every day on our way home for lunch from St. Pat’s Grammar school and the aromas made whatever mom served a disappointment

  2. Mary Ann Sheridan July 2, 2018 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Very entertaining and funny

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 3:01 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Mary Ann🤗

  3. Barbara Beauchemin July 2, 2018 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    LOL….good story Ed….sometimes a blast from the past is better left there! However, if you and Diane are still feeling adventurous in the gastronomic vein I would love to read about a visit to the original NY system weiners on Smith street in Providence. As kids we had to pass there every day on our way home for lunch from St. Pat’s Grammar school and the aromas made whatever mom served a disappointment. We would linger by the window and watch the chosen worker line up 6 or 8 weiners on his arm while he layered all those aromatic embellishments fast as lightning. My husband and I always said we would visit there one day, but never did. Now, with health issues it is no longer possible to revisit. Maybe we can relive it vicariously if you decide to make it one of your adventures. Thanks for all the great stories you write which jog our memories of long ago times.

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 3:01 pm - Reply

      Yes, I have a NY System hot weiner story, Barbara. By the way, that place on Smith is still owned by The Pappas Family, now Gus. Great guy. Ya gotta go.😊

      • Howard Weldon July 3, 2018 at 5:24 pm - Reply

        Smith Hill store.is closed.

  4. Peter Voccio JR. July 2, 2018 at 2:32 pm - Reply

    A banana split for supper, nice, as soon as that thought entered your mind at the office the anticipation must have built in your mind, the await of a beautiful treat with your three favorite flavors along with the toppings whip cream, walnuts and of course the three cherries perched on top. The only place to have a lovely dish is the Newport Creamery, they make the best, of course the counter, you can watch all the goodies being served to others, waiting for your presentation to come and your waitress with her green dress, with a pleasant smile comes in your direction with a beautiful dish loaded with whip cream. The big moment has arrived, wiggle a bit on the stool and enjoy, oh yes, to talk about what a beautiful split that was on the way home, Diane, we will do this again in time. You had to catch a waitress that was short on thinking, and tell you this is the second time I did it this week. Good that Diane kept everything under control. One question-what happen to the tie?

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 2:58 pm - Reply

      Still have the time. Would you like to have it, Peter? Quite a momento 😆

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 3:03 pm - Reply

      The tie and the time …

  5. Millie Hibben July 2, 2018 at 2:49 pm - Reply

    Thank you for a wonderful story about Newport Creamy and banana split. Also, enjoyed their wonderful lobster rolls

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 2:55 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Mike. Hmmm … never tried their lobster rolls. I was a Cozy Corner and Aunt Carries aficionado

  6. Vin DiBiasio July 2, 2018 at 3:22 pm - Reply

    Yes! We Have No Bananas

  7. Peter Voccio JR. July 2, 2018 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    Ed,

    The tie, for many years I wore them, seldom now, only on special occasions, weddings, funerals, the need for a tie with chocolate stains, well maybe, just might be in the mood for a banana split. If this comforts you, my wife, Ann and our daughter was visiting our son in Pennsylvania and the three of them decided on some ice cream treats, Ann, decided on a banana split, when it came it was loaded with peanuts not walnuts. Ann politely said no walnuts, ( her favorite ) the waitress replied we serve with peanuts.
    I will take the tie if you can get Ann to refrain from speaking about a banana split with peanuts.

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 9:36 pm - Reply

      Gad, peanuts on a banana split is second to no bananas as a mortal wound.
      Really,Peter, you may have the tie. My father would have used it to wrap the garbage in its newspaper.

  8. Howie Weldon July 2, 2018 at 6:42 pm - Reply

    A little old DOCTOR shuffled slowly into an ice creamparlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

    After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”
    “No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 9:33 pm - Reply

      Though this is on my blog, I must confess that I do not have arthritis.

  9. Joyce Simard July 2, 2018 at 10:16 pm - Reply

    If you’re in the mood for Weiners go to Rod’s Grille in Warren,RI,They are the BESt!!! Travel further To Somerset Creamery,RT6 in Somerset!!!! They have the old fashion Banana Splits!!!!!! Enjoy the 4th !!!!

    • Ed July 2, 2018 at 10:22 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Joyce. We will sample them all.
      Happy 4th🎆

  10. Natalie L McKenna July 3, 2018 at 3:39 am - Reply

    LAUGHED OUT LOAD! I COULD PICTURE THE LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT ON YOUR FACE AND DIANE LOOKING AT YOU WITH A CALM FACE AND MAYBE A LITTLE UPTURNED SMILE! HA,HA,HA, THERE I GO AGAIN!

    • Ed July 3, 2018 at 10:50 am - Reply

      Today I laugh, but that day was different. Actually, it was funny, Natalie.

  11. Beverly Thompson July 4, 2018 at 7:23 pm - Reply

    Very funny story. I can just imagine the anticipation and the disappointment. A gracious wife saved the day.

  12. Joanne Petito August 7, 2018 at 4:32 pm - Reply

    A month later and I’ve finally read your first e-mail (the banana split one). Very funny! I really enjoyed the story and all of the comments from your friends. Hope it won’t be as long before I read your next one. Life is busy, but good. Hope you and Diane are well and enjoying the summer in the beautiful berkshires!
    Jo

    • Ed August 7, 2018 at 4:37 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Joanne. yes, we have been to The Berkshires, but not enough.
      I will have an article about going to the beach in this weeks Sunday edition of ProJo, and I will be sure to add it to the blog. You should be getting a blog post to your email every Monday. If not, go to the site http://www.edwrites.com
      and subscribe again. Thanks

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